Wednesday, August 21, 2013

I'm Baaaack.... Sort of

Hello, long lost bloggy friends! I am writing this little check-in post as I wait for about 20 minutes before I head off to my first official class, because.... grad school.

I spent the past several weeks trying to psych myself up for school, hardly working, attending country concerts, working on a Raleigh bucket list, driving back and forth to Maryland and to Chapel Hill, packing up my life, unpacking my life, attempting to soak up what is was left of summer, and having repeated anxiety attacks. And now we have arrived.

I have a cute apartment in Chapel Hill and I'm waiting on the arrival of my roomie in a couple of days {hi, AK! Just kidding. You don't know I'm writing about you. Mwa ha ha...}. I thankfully live only 1.1 miles from my best friends and boyfriend, so the little free time I will have will not be spent driving all over creation {goodbye, Raleigh --> Chapel Hill commute!}. And I had orientation yesterday, and let me tell you... they didn't mince any words.

I was fully expecting {and mentally prepared for} student teaching to be an immense drain of time, energy, mental capacity, etc... But I guess I wasn't as prepared for them saying that the spring {i.e. student teaching} might be worse than the fall, that maybe we'll be busier when we are full-time teaching. Yikes!! They told us not to make any plans for Thanksgiving and to tell all of our friends, family, and loved ones that we will be unavailable until next June.

Let me tell you. I got home from orientation and sat in complete silence for a few minutes in my apartment as I tried to process this. As I thought about it, I realized that I would rather be worked hard in the fall and prepared to teach, than to breeze through these classes and show up to student teaching overwhelmed, un(der)prepared, and super frazzled. At least, that's what I'm telling myself.

Of course, I had the co-requisite panic attack about what if I hate this program, what if I hate teaching, what if I'm rubbish at teaching, what if I fail/drop out/accidentally fall down the school stairs to my untimely death {just kidding about those last three. except the stairs thing. girlfriend is a clumsy creature}.

Thankfully I have the best family and friends in the world and I know they will be a great support system as I navigate the terrible awful world of graduate school and student teaching. WB has already been a huge blessing and I haven't even really started yet. My hope is that I will enjoy my classes and being in the classroom {we will observe in our classrooms one day per week throughout the fall semester} and that therefore the immense amount of work will seem.... slightly less immense. I am also planning to enforce a rule I hope to use now and in the future when I am employed as a teacher: specifically limiting the times when I am allowed to do work, and when I am not {right now I am thinking after 5pm on Friday and after some as-yet undermined time on Saturday afternoon/evening}, in hopes of keeping my sanity and work/life balance.

Thanks for bearing with me, party people. Let the 4-hour class fiesta begin!

When somebody asks me if I'm ready to start class again...