Tuesday, June 25, 2013

12- Week Surgery Appointment

Last week I had my 12-week post-op appointment with my surgeon, and despite my hip pains, frustrations, and grumpy-hip-ness of the last several weeks, he says all is looking good!! This is a gigantic relief, because I have been concerned with my {seeming} lack of progress in therapy, as well as with the pain associated with the pulling-into-the-pool incident.

12-week hip {and new shorts!}
He said that the pre-pool achey pains I'd been having are normal, and wasn't overly concerned with the aftermath of the pool incident - my hip {and my emotions} have calmed down and gotten back to baseline in the past week or so, which is a good sign.

Doctor Man told me that I can start jogging within the next week or two {I'm leaving that decision up to my therapist}, on soft surfaces only - rubber tracks, trails, etc. Road running is not allowed for another 4-6 weeks. I asked him about the general pains - I've been so unclear as to whether my hip should be hurting, whether it will/should hurt when I'm running, etc. - and he said that aches are normal and running will likely be painful. Not shooting pain painful {that would be a real problem}, but it will likely be quite achey and sore, especially since I haven't properly used my leg in about 8 months. As long as I'm not hurting my hip by running, I plan to do so as long as my body tells me I can.

me, on the day i can run {source}
I've said it once, and I'll say it again now: it is impossible - repeat, impossible - for someone who has not been through this type of experience to even remotely comprehend the emotional, mental, and obviously physical side effects. I have not exercised like a normal C since October of 2012, and I started having pain in August - that's almost a full year of pain, non-use, and general malaise. If you tell someone who runs 4-5x per week and exercises almost everyday that they are not going to be able to do ANYTHING - not just running, but anything - not even walking or jumping in the pool {apparently} - for almost a year, it is not going to go over well. I have gone through a complete and drastic lifestyle change, and with that I've had to {try to} adjust my thinking. I would give anything in the world to be able to go for a 3 mile run {or even a 1 mile run, honestly} without having to think twice. This life is hard. My mental health has suffered. I know I'm making progress and I know eventually I will be back in the land of happy, carefree exercising {we hope}, but sometimes it is too much when people tell me they understand, that they know it sucks, that I'll get better and just have to give it time, and hey do I want to hear about their workout? I'm sorry, you don't really understand, and no, I don't care at all about your ____ exercise.

The day when I can run, on my own, on a road, without restrictions, and, most importantly of all, without pain, will be the best day. This year of my life {age year, not calendar year} has been one of the worst, most challenging, and depressing times - mostly hip related, though of course there are always other factors. My birthday is coming up in August and my dearest most earnest wish is that I can go for a run on my birthday. And if I can run pain-free, it will be the best birthday. And I will feel like this:

Happy running. xx

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