Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Scientific Anomaly

I already posted my scheduled post for today, and am leaving for the beach in just about an hour - but I just had to share this typical-clumsy-C story with you.

Last night, I went to see This Is The End {fantastically funny, by the way, even by my humor standards. Worth the 10 bucks!}, and as I was getting out of my friend's Jeep I slammed my knee into the inside part of the car door {I guess I was jumping out to get to the ground}. It started bleeding and it was the kind of pain where you just want to rattle off a chain of swear words but know that it's going to stop hurting in just a minute if you can hold on. Somehow I managed to say the words silently {hooray for continuing my Lentdom no-cursing!} and also managed not to cry. I doubled over for about a minute or so before I decided I was able to stand up. Luckily I'm so used to doing embarrassing clumsy things in front of people {and I was in so much pain/trying not to cry} that my face was only a pale shade of pink.

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Anyway, the clumsy part isn't anything new. What was new was that after I walked about 10 yards or so, I got really dizzy, and had to stop every couple of feet. Once I'd walked a total of maybe 20 yards, I was hit with a serious wave of nausea and had to sit down. I was convinced I was going to throw up - I did that swallowing thing a few times and was prepared to tell my friend to get out of the way and not watch. So I put my head between my knees, prayed that I wouldn't vomit and make the evening even more embarrassing, and after a minute was able to take a sip of water. Soon after that it passed, I stood up, and felt totally normal.

When I got home, I of course had to google what the heck happened. The first result the computer gave me was that I am pregnant. Haaaaaa! Just kidding. Totally not pregnant. Thanks, Google. I found an explanation that makes a lot more sense - that that's a common reaction to pain. I have broken a couple of limbs, had shooting hip pain, and had hip surgery, along with a myriad of other bumps, bruises, and cuts {due to aforementioned clumsiness} and have never once thought I was going to pass out/die/throw up everywhere from pain. Ahhhh, car doors. Those bringers of ultimate pain.

Today my knee hurts and it's swollen and bruised, but I am no longer in fear for my life. On the other hand, I managed to burn cleanly through several layers of skin on my thigh via a drip from a hot glue gun {the area is bright white and covered with a bandaid in anticipation of the salt water sting}, so I'm making up for my knee recovery.

Speaking of my ever-graceful life:

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If you can't laugh at yourself, life is gonna seem a whole lot longer than you'd like.

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